You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
