This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
