I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
FUCK WHALES
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
