honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Randomize
