i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
