i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
