Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
