when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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