Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
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