I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I wear drunk well.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
