after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
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