i just wanna soil my oats bro
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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