I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
