I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
