So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
