as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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