I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
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