shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Randomize
