If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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