You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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