drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
