i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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