If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
