ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
