I queefed so loud it echoed.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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