Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
