my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
