You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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