why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
