Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
MIDGETS
????
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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