i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
