mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
