just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
