At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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