sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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