For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
