we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
