It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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