He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
