I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
