My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
