I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
