I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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