I love black thongs
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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