You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
