but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
