did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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