He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
