I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
