Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
