Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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