Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
